You Remind Me
by Captain Pagie
Summary: ‘He was right’ Roger thought. “I need to talk to Mimi.” He said aloud. He ran back.
1. Chapter 1

You Remind Me

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Rent' or anything to do with it. Nor do I get any money from this.

I'm sort of adding and mixing things up a bit, so if you're a bit confused, well, join the crowd.

_Flashbacks _will be in italics.

Roger couldn't believe her. He had gone to meet her one night after work, and he saw her head into an alley, and buy drugs.

How could she do that?

He thought she had learned that she didn't need the drugs, that she was giving them up for him. 'Yeah, right.' Was all he could think. Mark had tried to change his mind.

"_Roger, it was one time. No one's perfect." Mark had been making coffee, and set a cup down in front of Roger, who had been reading last week's newspaper._

"_One time leads to another, and another. I thought you would know best Mark, considering how many times Maureen cheated on you and you took her back every time, saying she'd never cheat again." Roger knew that was a low blow but he didn't care._

"_Look, Roger," Mark said. Roger kept on reading. "Roger!" He put down the paper, and looked at Mark. "What?"_

"_Look, rehab is no picnic-," Mark started, but Roger cut him off._

"_You're telling me that? How long did it take for me to get clean? I think I understand rehab pretty well."_

"_Mimi is doing better than you give her credit for." Mark said quietly. Roger saw red, and got up to leave, but Mark continued talking, but in a louder voice._

"_Roger, who was there when you were in a withdrawal? Who held you down so you didn't go get high again? I was. I think I have a pretty good idea of what Mimi's going through, and Roger, she's not as strong as you. She doesn't have the incentive you had."_

_Roger looked away. He knew what Mark meant. April…_

"_I'm going for a walk." Roger muttered, grabbing his coat off the back of the chair and walking out._

Roger had left the loft only a couple hours ago, but it felt like he had been gone for days, but then again, he needed time to think. Even if his motivations for getting clean were different, he still didn't get more smack. 'Because Mark wouldn't let you.' His head was talking, but Roger wouldn't listen. 'Because I wanted too.' He thought back angrily. He wouldn't admit it, but he knew during the worst of it, he was about ready to kill Mark just to get a hit. 'He was right' Roger thought. "I need to talk to Mimi." He said aloud. He ran back.

Climbing the steps two at a time, he reached Mimi's. He stopped, leaning on his knees, and caught his breath. He knocked. No answer. "Mimi?" he called, but there no response. 'Maybe she's sleeping,' he thought. 'She does work at night.' He tried the door. It was unlocked. He walked in, and went toward Mimi's room.

He walked over to the bead strands that was the entrance to her room. He walked up to it, and saw her.

She was leaning over, slapping her arm, getting it ready. She had the syringe balanced on her knee, and picked it up.

Roger's eyes closed. "How could you?" he said.

Mimi glanced up at him, and then at the syringe in her hand. "Roger…" she said, but he was already walking away. "Roger!" she yelled, getting up, dropping the syringe on the floor, running out of her room. She got there just in time to see him slam the door, and hear him run up the stairs.

She walked slowly back to her room, and picked the needle up off the floor. She held it in her palm, staring at it. This is what was stopping her from being with Roger. It was just a thing. She set it on her window sill. She didn't need that. She needed Roger. She wanted Roger, and no drug would stop that. She sat back down on the bed, and waited for it to begin.

Roger ran into their loft, swinging open the door.

"What happened?" Mark spun around, his video camera in hand.

"Turn it off." Roger said, storming away, but Mark followed.

"Roger…?" Mark feared that he had gotten a hit, he hadn't acted like this in a long time. "What happened?"

"I said TURN IT OFF!" Roger roared at Mark, and then he went into his room, slamming the door.

Roger felt a sudden remorse for how he had acted toward Mark, but sometimes… that damn video camera. It captured every moment of their every movement in life. Roger dealt with it the best he could but sometimes… he couldn't help it.

'Mimi…' his thoughts returned to her, and he saw her chocolate brown eyes, and deep brown hair. Luminous and shining in the flickering candle light. He clenched his eyes and jaw shut. He was done with her till she was done with drugs. He knew what drugs could do, he knew better than anyone! Drugs had cost him almost everything. His band, April's life, and eventually, thanks to drugs, he'd lose his own. He still had Mark, and for now, his life, but because of drugs, he had to take medicine everyday, and had to worry about when the end would come, when it'd set in. All because of drugs.

"I should have told her." But his words were muffled by his pillow. "I should have told her."

Mark let Roger mope around the loft for a two days. "You should go see her." He said suddenly that afternoon. "Why?" Roger asked, sitting there, acting like a stubborn child. Mark sighed. "Did you ever think that maybe she's your second chance?" Roger sat up straighter on the couch. "And what's that supposed to mean?" he asked sharply, even though he knew perfectly well. No one could ever replace April Ever.


	2. Chapter 2

You Remind Me

LiL Pippin Padfoot

Disclaimer: Again, don't own!

_Flashbacks _will be in italics.

Roger had a bad feeling. He rolled out of bed, and sleepily walked outside. The bitter wind whipped around him, and woke him up. He ran his fingers through his tangled hair and sighed. He was so tired. When he had fallen asleep earlier, his dream, her blue eyes, on Mimi's face… he couldn't go back to sleep and see Mimi or April. He'd stay awake for the rest of his life.

He went back inside, no use killing himself yet. 'Yet.' He thought, smirking. 'April felt it was time, then why shouldn't I?' he blinked back the tears and memories that threatened to overflow. He thought about what Mark said. He couldn't have April back, but maybe… He didn't think, he wrenched open the door, and ran down the stairs.

He opened the door, unlocked, like last time. He ran to Mimi's room. "Mimi…" but his voiced died in his throat, she wasn't there. He paused, listening. The bathroom, he could hear heavy breathing.

Mimi was on the edge of the bathtub, her hair wet with perspiration, sweat dripping all over, rocking back and forth, and dry heaves making her wretch forward sporadically. "Oh, Mimi." Roger breathed, and rushed over to her. Her dark brown eyes, gazed into his. They weren't completely coherent of what was happening, but she recognized him, and she trusted him. Her long lashes closed, and she pitched forward.

"Oh Mimi," Roger said again, catching her. He scooped her up, and carried her out of the bathroom. He carefully picked his way back up to the loft.

He sat her down on the couch, and her eyes opened, she was shaking. Roger sat across from her, putting his hands on her face, her neck, pulling her closer to him. She leaned against him. Suddenly, Roger broke into a cold sweat, this was too familiar.

_Roger had a little gig at a café up town. He knew April hadn't been feeling good, and had gone to the doctor. He rushed up the stairs, guitar case banging against his legs. He couldn't wait to tell April how much they cheered. April always loved his shows, and maybe it'd make her feel better._

_He opened the door, and noticed something unusual… it was quiet. Even when April was resting, or coming off a high, she had music going. Along with Maureen hanging around with Mark, it had never been this quiet. The bathroom door was ajar, and the light was on. _

"_Babe," he called. "You don't need to put make-up on just 'cause I'm home." He had always teased April about how much make-up she wore, she never believed that she was beautiful with or without it. But this time, she didn't scoff and give him a play punch on the arm. It remained silent. Something was wrong._

_He slowly walked toward the bathroom, and pushed the door open. "No," he said. His voice choking, and the muffin and coffee he had at the café threatened to come up. April. The entire bathroom was gone, the only thing he could see was April, in the bath tub, covered in blood. He took two steps, the longest steps of his life, and fell down on his knees. He cradeled her lifeless body in his arms, not realizing the blood was staining his clothes a pinkish-crimson. _

_Mark walked up to the landing, him and Maureen were walking up to the landing arm in arm. 'That's strange,' Mark thought. 'Why is the door open?'. "Wait here," he told Maureen, "Something's wrong." "What?" she asked, following Mark into the apartment anyway. Mark heard sobs coming from the bathroom. He walked in. "Oh my god." He said, seeing Roger rocking back and forth with April's body lolling around in his arms, the blood swirling in the water filled bathtub. Roger's tears streaming down his face._

"_Oh my god!" Maureen schreeched. "I'm calling the police! You better have paid this month!"_

"_Roger," Mark said, leaning down so he was face to face with his friend. _

"_Mark, she's gone." _

"_I know," Mark said quietly. "Why don't you put her down, and we'll go out."_

"_No!" said Roger, "I'm staying!" Mark put his hand on Roger's shoulder. "Okay." He said. "Maureen's called the police, they'll be here soon."_

"_Oh god." Roger said. "I can't let her go."_

_Mark turned and saw the bathroom mirror covered also in blood. 'No, wait…it's just lipstick, that hideous color that Roger bought April last Valentine's day, she only wore it once, that Valentine's day, it meant the world to him.' He leaned closer to read it._

_**Roger,**_

_**I have HIV, that means you do too. I'm so sorry. I love you.**_

_**April**_

_Mark paled, and looked at Roger, covered in April's blood. He couldn't… He can't… Not Roger. 'I won't tell him now. It's too much.' And Roger stepped out._

Roger held tighter to Mimi, tears streamed out of his eyes and into her hair. That night was so vivid in his mind.

_After the police came and went, taking April with them, He had walked in the bathroom, covered in red. The bathtub, the floor, and … the mirror? He walked over and read what she wrote. His heart beat quicker. "No." he said. "No!" he yelled. "April? How could YOU!" he screamed, then he punched the mirror, shards flying into his hands cutting them, and spreading glass everywhere. "DAMMIT!" he yelled, his word ringing around the bathroom. "Dammit." He whispered, tears once again falling. His life was over._

"Roger?" Mimi asked weakly. "Shhh, I'm here." He said. "I'm here."

"Roger…" she said again. "I love you."

Roger didn't hesitate. "I love you too."


End file.
